Facebook Status: A bad attitude is like a flat tyre – you can’t go anywhere until you change it.

Facebook Status: Keep smiling – it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Facebook Status: I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Facebook Status: I’m a nobody. Nobody’s perfect. So, I guess that makes me perfect.

Facebook Status: The only time I update my status is when I have time: lunch-time, break-time, off-time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.

Facebook Status: All my life, I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.