Facebook Status: Loading brain … please wait.

Facebook Status: Money doesn’t bring happiness, but shopping might.

Facebook Status: Procrastination (verb): What you’re probably doing now.

Facebook Status: If Cinderella’s glass shoe fit so perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

Facebook Status: Today, I texted my mom saying that I got an A for a test. She replied: ‘WTF see you at dinner.’ She thinks WTF means: ‘Wow, that’s fantastic.’

Facebook Status: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.