Facebook Status: Bought some batteries for my children as gift and stuck a note on it saying “toys not included”.

Facebook Status: I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?

Facebook Status: My favorite mythical creature: A honest politician.

Facebook Status: One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Facebook Status: Families are like a bar of chocolate, mostly sweet with a few nuts…

Facebook Status: Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person, apparently that is called stalking.