Facebook Status: All that glitters is not gold but I’d rather be rich than poor when I’m old.

Facebook Status: I forgot to work out today. That’s five years in a row!

Facebook Status: Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more birthdays live longer.

Facebook Status: Line-dancing was originally invented by people waiting in line for the bathroom.

Facebook Status: Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.

Facebook Status: LIKE if you hate it when someone tags you in a photo you look horrible in because they happen to look so good in it.