Facebook Status: Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. – Mark Twain.

Facebook Status: I want to apologise to all of the people in their 30’s that I called old when I was 18.

Facebook Status: If you could put together a football team of politicians and celebrities, who would you enlist and why?

Facebook Status: I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.

Facebook Status: Let’s observe a moment of silence for those who saw my post but didn’t like it.

Facebook Status: My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray, like a toaster.