Facebook Status: Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Facebook Status: I always wonder if someone somewhere is doing the same exact thing as I am.

Facebook Status: I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects and says: ‘Oops, I’m sorry.’

Facebook Status: People who have OnlyFans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Facebook Status: Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.

Facebook Status: What if God came down one day and said, “It’s pronounced ‘Jod'” and left?